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Well… it’s been a while.

Posted in Uncategorized on October 15, 2012 by neilkloster

So, just like the title of this post says, it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted on here. 

I haven’t show cased much of my work as my FT job has been quite a whirlwind, I’m getting married in less than 55 days (and counting) and just recently, I’ve had some health issues that have landed me into the emergency room on a few separate occasions.  Still, I feel that if I can’t post about works of mine or what’s going on with me: perhaps people (the two people out there that read my blog) would enjoy hearing about some of the things that I’ve read and enjoyed.

I want/have to give props for this blog to the late, great Michael Louis Calvillo who kind of inspired me to write something like this.  In one of his email correspondances – he revealed to a budding doe eyed author that if you don’t have time to read, you don’t have time to write.  Simple as that. 

So I thought, hmmm, maybe people out there would be interested in hearing about what I’ve read or at least get a few new ideas on what to pick up… so here it is (in no order of course).

1. Necro Files: An anthology collection gathering some of the world’s best authors including: Joe R. Lansdale, John Everson, George R. R. Martin, Wrath James White, Edward Lee, Graham Masterson, Elizabeth Massie and more.  Basically, it’s called ‘Necro’ files for a reason – so you can figure out just what each short story would be about, hmmmm?  Buy it HERE!

2. ‘The Boy in the Lot’ by Ronald Malfi.  This is a short story that is very reminscent of (at least for me) Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot.  It’s about a boy who is moving with his family who winds up staying in a ‘no tell motel’ and goes outside to let out the family dog, only to run into his friend from back home, in the woods, who is unearthly pale and who’s smile is sharper than it should be.  This is my first introduction to Malfi – but it prompted me enough to snatch up his latest book ‘The Narrows’ by Samhain publishing.  you can get ‘The boy in the Lot’ FREE HERE!  

3. ‘Bubba Ho-Tep’ by Joe R. Lansdale.  I originally saw the movie based off this story several years ago at a friends house and after reading the story, have to say, as Joe comments in the beginning, that the story is much better than the movie.  Great read!  Never can go wrong with Lansdale!  Bubba Ho-Tep is the story of Elvis, rotting away in a nursing home, living with J.F.K. who now happens to be black as they investigate the soul sucking mummy that rummages through the dark hallways of their nursing home, sucking souls out of people’s assholes.  Yes – I know what you’re thinking – but do yourself a favor, just read the story.  It’s pretty damn funny/awesome!  Get it here!

4. Bleed for you, by Michael Louis Calvillo (RIP).  ‘Bleed’ is a short novella, written by the late/great M.L.Calvillo.  It revolves around a young boy with some pretty internal psychological issues, who has a hotty of a girlfriend and one beef-headed arch nemisis.   She’s currently dating both him and the head of the football team and when she doesn’t break it off like she said she would, then things get a bit messy.  I cannot recommend this one enough!  Get it if you are a fan of horror or even if you are not.  It’s terrific/gruesome/ humorous and downright shocking.   Get it here!

5. Moondeath by Rick Hautala.  I’ve never actually read a werewolf piece, so I’m glad that this work by Rick Hautala was the first to pop my cherry.   I went into it pretty blind, but knowing that EJP doesn’t put out anything but quality – I gave it a go and was pleasantly surprised.  It revolves around a man who moves up to a small town, running from a troubled past who falls for one of the local teachers and starts to notice troubel brewing.  A definite twist on the werewolf legends.  Recommended for fans of horror.  Buy it here!

6. The Woman by Jack Ketchum.  Okay – this was probably one of the best novels that I have ever read.  Period.  It flowed, it was brutal, yet smooth and the character development by J.K. was outstanding.   Synopsis: The Woman is the last of her kind, the lone survivor of a tribe of feral cannibals who have terrorized the Maine coast for years. She is wounded and weak, but she’s found refuge in a cave overlooking the sea. Christopher Cleek is an amoral—and unstable—lawyer who sees her bathing in a stream one day while he’s out hunting. Cleek has dark, cruel secrets and he will now add one more. He will capture the Woman, lock her in his cellar, and attempt to tame her, with the help of his wife and children. But very soon the question will become: Who is more savage, the hunter or the prey? 

This was a terrific follow up to Ketchum’s two previous works of the same base: OFFSEASON and OFFSPRING.  Having read both, this one, I feel, trumps OFFSPRING tremendously but is still on par with OFFSEASON.  I also recommend watching the movie afterwards by Lucky McGee.    Buy it here

7. Servants of Darkness by Mark Edward Hall.  Mark Edward Hall is an author who I came across quite accidentally.  I remembered seeing some of his work years ago and then came across this collection of his and decided to take a risk and pick it up.  It was a move that I am still thankful for.  SOD is a collection of some of Mark Edward Hall’s shorter works.

Synopsis: A chance meeting at a cathedral’s demolition site between a suffering young woman and a stranger morphs from unsettling to terrifying when you discover the stranger’s identity. He is simultaneously more and less than he appears.

An injured man lost in the wilderness is haunted by a demon that he might or might not recognize from his past.

From there you are taken on a meandering journey through a skewed world where nothing, not even a lowly can of bug spray, can ever be considered harmless or innocent. Some truly unique takes on dark fiction are offered up, including “Room Number 9,” which any Beatles fan will appreciate while perhaps never looking at John Lennon in quite the same way again.

A collection of thirteen sinister tales. From psychological horror to supernatural suspense to Lovecraftian nightmares, these stories will make you question your own beliefs about sanity and madness.
Includes Hall’s first ever published short story, 1995s “Bug Shot.”  

Buy it here!

A few other works that I wanted to mention as well were:

* The Damnation Game by Clive Barker

*By Bizarre Hands by Joe R. Lansdale

*The Stake by Richard Laymon (personal favorite)!

*Horns by Joe Hill

And The October Country by Ray Bradbury. 

So hopefully this gives anyone a small list of things to check out, get intersted in and perhaps pursue for later writing endeavors. 

Keep writing, no matter what.

– Neil Kloster

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Mustard, murder and …killer clowns?

Posted in Uncategorized on May 25, 2012 by neilkloster

Hello all!

Well, it has definitely been a while since I’ve posted anything and I figured with the upcoming Memorial Day weekend already looming overhead, what better time to crack open a cold one, roast some-“thing” on the grill and pay homage to those that gave their lives to protect our rights.  So please remember: that beer you’re enjoying, that brat that now is staining your shirt with pickle relish and mustard… none of it would be possible without the bravery and dedication of our armed forces.  So take a minute to remember our fallen this weekend.

With that, it has been an interesting couple of months.  I will first address the main question which is, “Yes, the wedding plans are going well.”  It truly helps to marry a teacher whose inner being practically SCREAMS spreadsheets and organization.  So things are moving right along … according to her time sheets anyways.  Although I haven’t heard back on my Spider-Man vest yet for the wedding – may need to make a call or two on that.

With the wedding and working a 9-5 that feels more like 5-9 (yes I stole that from a commercial) I haven’t had a lot of time to write as much as I’d like, but I’ve still been busy here and there (aren’t we all?).  I just had a short story entitled “Need a Hand?” released recently for the anthology, “Whacked!  An Anthology of Murder” (You can pick up the paperback/kindle version HERE). 

This is a far (well, not too far) departure from what I usually write about.  True there is mostly a spoonful of murder with each helping of writing that I do, but this is a more subtle noir tale than anything I’ve done before.  I won’t give too much away, but the inspiration for this story literally came from my old apartment complex rolling up old carpeting and resting it on the side of the dumpster – I’ll let you fill in the blanks after that.

With today being such a bright sunny day out – I’ve decided to take the rest of the day and “work” from home.  We’ll see how much work I actually get done – but I will be doing some very, VERY tedious paperwork while also indulging in a nice 1989 murder slasher called “Out of the Dark” (Check it out HERE). 

This is probably one of the worst movies ever – but would definitely be considered a guilty pleasure.  There is nudity, vulgarity, a killer in a clown costume, cops, models and don’t even get me started on the ending.  However, this movie has all the right elements for a nice enjoyable – yet brain-dead – movie that I will happily enjoy with some popcorn while going over reports that mean absolutely nothing to me for this weekend.

So in closing, pop a top, grab a brat and enjoy the weather as I hope your weekend will be as killer as mine will. 

~ Neil A. Kloster

 

 

My short story “AA is Hell” is now available in the Spring 2012 edition of Dark Gothic Resurrected Magazine

Posted in Uncategorized on April 4, 2012 by neilkloster

Hello all,

My short story entitled “AA is Hell” is now available in the Spring 2012 edition of Dark Gothic Resurrected.   The magazine is available in both print (which you can purchase HERE or in an electronic version, which you can purchase HERE from Amazon.com.

The story revolves around the unfortunate existence of Frank, a man whose lawyer, who also happens to be his brother Julian, just got him out of jail again.  Finally at the end of his rope – and forced by his kin – he learns of an AA meeting at his old grade school building.  The school’s been dormant for years – yet the participants of this particular AA meeting may finally have something to teach Frank.  Something that will scare Frank towards sobriety … or else!  (Based somewhat on a true story).

This is one of my very first stories that I wrote nearly two years ago so I hope that you enjoy it!

Words of advice … from Ray Bradbury: An awesome clip that has carried me through many dark days.

Posted in Uncategorized on March 25, 2012 by neilkloster

For Ray Bradbury, the secret to writing is simple: Write in your boxers and always have a cold Coors in the fridge. 

I’ve always enjoyed this small clip and wanted to share this with anyone feeling pestered by their writing or maybe stumped on their latest work. 

Enjoy and remember to enjoy what you do … or else what’s the point, right?

– Neil

Click HERE for video (It’s only 3 mins)

RAY BRADBURY

100 HORRORS available now!!

Posted in Uncategorized on February 15, 2012 by neilkloster

100 HORRORS – the anthology with 100 stories all 100 words is now available for only $2.99! 

This collection features my very, very short story “Windows to the soul.”

Check it out here!

 

“Windows to the Soul” will appear in the Cruentus Libri Press release of “100 Horrors”

Posted in Uncategorized on February 4, 2012 by neilkloster

My (very) short story “Windows to the Soul” will appear in 100 Horrors – both in print and ebook versions – available Monday, February 20th. All stories in this collection are 100 words and by 100 authors! Check it out and make sure if you like it to post a review on Amazon.com.

“I like my zombies with a twist” – new piece of NON-FICTION in Zombie NON-Fiction alongside: Joe McKinney, Eric S. Brown, David Woody, Craig DiLouie and more…

Posted in Uncategorized on January 18, 2012 by neilkloster

I am featured along with other amazing authors such as: Joe McKinney, Eric S. Brown, David Moody, Craig DiLouie and many more in this non-fiction “how-to” on writing zombies entitled “Zombie Writing”  (Click on the link to Amazon.com).

My take is pretty short and sweet and is the first piece up to bat entitled, “I like my Zombies with a Twist.”  For $2.99 – you can’t beat the price for this great collection of advice from some of today’s best horror authors!!

Description below:

“Zombie Writing!”

So, You Want To Write About Zombies?

Learn secrets, opinions, styles, and get advice on creating your own zombie story, from 44 Masters of the Zombie Genre, whether they’re talking about books, short stories, movies, television and influences for your work, and talk about their own Undead Tales.

Neil Kloster * Mark Clodi * Richard Lee Byers * Joe McKinney * Jason S. Hornsby * Rie Sheridan Rose * Christian Jensen * Mainak Dhar * JD Gillam * Mark Justice * Michael D. Griffiths * Dane Hatchell * T.S. Charles * David Moody * Todd Brown * Craig DiLouie * Lee Pletzers * Andy Taylor * Kevin Coryell * Brent Abell * Sharon M. White * Kelly M. Hudson * Chantal Boudreau * Carole Gill * Marissa Farrar * Tim Waggoner * W.D. Gagliani * David Lee Summers * Lou Antonelli * Shawn M. Riddle * Keith Gouveia * Ian DG Sandusky * Tony Monchinski * David Dunwoody * DA Chaney * Adam Millard * Thomas Scopel * Jeremiah Coe * Jasper Bark * Ray Wallace * Eric S. Brown * Blaze McRob * Kate Madison * Armand Rosamilia